Real abandonment. Perceived abandonment. It’s all valid. And it all suuucks. We as humans are mostly programmed to find and maintain interpersonal connections. This is probably why it is so difficult when we lose or anticipate that we will lose those connections.
So how do we help clients who constantly anticipate or are anxious about being abandoned? What ways can we help them to cope with that anxiety? How do we help them engage in behaviors that might fit well for the situation to facilitate their goals. For example, when to assert needs and when to hold back or seek external support?
The NICABM has brought together some heavy hitters from clinical research to provide training to help clients with the pain of abandonment. Trainers include van der Kolk, Hayes, Levine, and many others.
Pros. These trainings are highly research-based. They also appear to provide concrete strategies clients can learn. Strategies come in addition to helpful ways to talk clients through their experience in session. Highly respected researchers who have done a lot of work related to difficulties that can come along with abandonment conduct these trainings (e.g., anxiety and its physical sensations, sense of rejection).
Limits. Most of the researchers do not appear to be experts in abandonment, specifically. So these trainings to not appear to cover the nuances of abandonment from experts who investigate that particular experience. This does not mean it is not a good training, however. It also does not advertise training on how to approach abandonment with highly impacted or treatment resistant clients. Like all trainings, this one cannot guarantee 100% success with any client, but does appear to have some really great approaches.
Abandonment is so hard for clients. And certainly not easy for clinicians trying to help them. Luckily, there is hope and help for both client and clinician in the form of a this abandonment training.
