The Holidays can be a difficult time for people: Loneliness. Comparing one’s life-situation to the apparent “awesome and happy” lives of others. Grieving past family or friends no longer present during the holidays. And more. Many clients find the Holidays very difficult for these and other reasons. So what do therapists do to help? Building gratitude in therapy is an effective method.
This solution seems pretty counterintuitive to clients (and even therapists). Why should people feel more gratitude when there is so much they lack? Research finds there are ways for client’s to experience gratitude even when they don’t see much in life. That gratitude, in-turn, tends to boost positive emotions and mood. It also reduces bias for negative information by shifting focus from thoughts of what we lack to greater focus on what we have.
There are a few key evidence-based strategies therapists can balance with heavy doses of client validation. Sonja Lyubomirsky and other researchers find gratitude journaling to be very effective in particular forms. They found it most effective to log on five things someone is grateful for, once per week (as opposed to every day or most days of the week).
Importantly, these things can be very routine or minimal. For example, a sunny day or receiving a smile from a passerby. It can also be extremely helpful for the client to write a few extra details on how it made them feel or what they enjoyed about it.
Writing letters shows similar helpful effects. This entails writing a letter to anyone who may have had any positive effect on a person’s life (even if that effect is small). Students can write gratitude letters to a teacher or another person who has influenced their life or done something kind for them. These letters can be very effective when the client writes about how that person’s actions made them feel. Writing additional deeper details about the effect it had on the person’s life helps the client event more.
Enhancement in these ways is also interesting because is often intended to make someone else feel good. No matter how the other person receives it, clients an individuals begin to find that it boosts their mood no matter how it makes the other person. Like in behavioral activation, clients find that engaging in these gratitude behaviors even when they feel “weird” often still benefits mood. Then therapists can reinforce these behaviors and promote continued sustained gratitude activities.
Researchers have found gratitude methods to be so effective that they now test structured behavioral treatments using these strategies. This research finds benefits for depression, anxiety, and other difficulties. Results also finds these methods increase social connectedness and decrease sense of loneliness. This goes a long way for clients during the Holidays and other times of the year.
The Holidays can be difficult for many clients. But luckily there are ways that therapists can help clients build additional coping tools to get through it. These skills can then be applied to life during other times of the year.
