Never suppress your emotions? Giving clients the maxim “never suppress” is a behavior we may need to suppress. A lot of research has found that suppressing emotional expressions or avoiding the experience of emotions does have negative psychological and physical health consequences. But what happens when you’re in the super market line and someone is taking forever to write a check? And who even writes a check these days? Do you yell at them about how annoyed you are and demand they hurry up?
Like so many other things, there appears not to be a one-size-fits-all approach to suppressing emotions. Research has actually found that context can be very important. There are situations where suppressing emotions may be un-helpful (e.g., missing out on chances to garner social support). But there are also situations were it might be helpful. For instance, we would want not to upset a friend by cheering about something they disagree with. That is, there are some situations where it might be beneficial to suppress your emotions (e.g., not to upset others or risk being ostracized).
A famous study by Bonanno and colleagues found that individuals who are able to both suppress and enhance the expression of their emotions to a greater degree tend to have greater well being. They also appear to adjust very well over time following stressful life-events. Researchers suggest that this is due to positive social adjustment they experience over time. The positive social adjustment may be a response to their ability to flexibly and appropriately express emotions in a way that is well-matched to a range of situations.
Research also suggests there may be negative effects when suppressing some emotions, but not for others. For example, suppression having no effects on sadness, but affecting anxiety. There also might be negative effects in the case of certain individual factors, but not for other factors. For example those who experience depression vs those who do not. The popular idea that suppressing emotion leads to a greater rebound in negative emotion also appears to be a myth.
It appears that like so many things in our understanding of how we tick, “it depends”. Context is key. When to use suppression for the most appropriate response, as opposed to whether to use it: Now that is the question for our clients.
